Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sunday Funday

My restlessness has subsided a little bit.  I'm not as anxious about "getting out of here" as I was a few days ago, but it is still there nonetheless.

I feel a little more clear headed about what direction I want to go in, and although I have a feeling I may, at the last minute, get cold feet, I feel like I need to do this.  California may not be the place tho.  My mom, earlier today, planted the seed of  "Portland" in my brain and told me to do my research.  Some of the kids I grew up with are now living in Portland (and have been for a few years now, at least) and are loving it.  I think my mom wants me to move in that direction.  I've never been there but it sounds intriguing.

I started a ChipIn for anyone that wants to help with moving costs.  In the meantime, I'm also going to start to sell off some of my own personal belongs, to lighten the load (and my life), and raise some extra funds.  If anyone is interested, I'll post a link of where the items can be found for your browsing pleasure.  I have a lot to plan for... the idea of moving excites me AND scares the crap out of me.

I went to a bonfire last night at a friend's house. 

It was originally just a party, but by the end of the night, they decided to move the firepit over to the middle of the backyard and start a fire, so we sat around, drank some beer, cracked jokes, told stories and had a fucking good time.  Those are the days I love so much and those are the times I'm going to miss.  I love my friends.  I love the people that surround me, and the idea of leaving them to go try something new makes me a little sad.  They mean so much to me, but I really do feel like I have to separate myself and almost prove to myself what I'm really made of.

I had mentioned to them that I wanted to move at the beginning of January to California, and my one friend, Bridget (who's house we were at) said that if she wasn't married with kids, she would do the same.  And that she kind of did.  At 17, she stepped out on her own and never looked back.  I never did that.  I think, psychologically, I feel like I had a long time ago, physically, I never did.  I moved out on my own a few times, but I've never completely cut the cord.  I know my parents and family is there for me no matter what, but for fucks sake!  I'm 28.  As much as I want to get married and have kids one day, I need to know I can completely, 100% take care of myself, and have the proof to show for it.  I've been too comfortable.  I need to put myself in an uncomfortable situation, to test out what I think I'm made of.

I need to explore the world around me, and while doing so, learn even more about myself.

So, on the agenda for me today?? Drink my ass some coffee, edit two photo sets, clean, and MAYBE dye my hair.  I haven't decided on that one yet.  I'm thinking about touching up my roots in the front and adding major amounts of pink (and maybe turquoise).  What are YOU doing today?



Myles said...

As I said, My vote is for Seattle. I've never been there. This is more of a random vote.

Hank Booth said...

Have never been to Portland but hear its very welcoming with great people. : )