Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Well, I have no choice.

Not really but kind of.  My gift membership on SG has elapsed (I had no idea a year had already passed), so now that I want to blog, I must blog here.  Not a bad deal though.  Maybe this will get me into the habit of coming back here more often.

I'll miss SG though.  I don't really know why considering I don't interact with a huge amount of people on there.  Maybe it's the boobs.

Either way, I've been thinking a lot lately about my future.  I'm in school and barely getting by and the thought of photography as a major has always had my attention to a certain degree.  I have always wanted to get a science degree (I am a biology major) for quite a few reasons, top three being: 1.) that I love the reactions I get from people when I tell them what my major is, 2.) the flexibility of what having a general science degree entails (meaning I can do ANYTHING with it) and 3.) the fact that I can do anything with it... though I pretty much already included that with number 2.

But I'm starting to get to the point where not only do I want to increase my skill level at composing, capturing and producing visually and emotionally stimulating images but to eat, sleep, breath and live something completely creative, satisfying, emotionally taxing and just plain awesome.  The lives of some of the photographers I've come across on the internet (I'll admit, I don't know very many professional photographers personally) is inspiring.  I'm sure they may not feel the same way, but to me, someone who has always been surrounded by the analytical and intellectually rigorous, it is a beautiful life and I want to experience it first hand.

So, knowing I want to steer in that direction, I'm getting to the point of "do I do this now" or "do I wait until I'm finished with the first degree I already started."  It's a hard decision, and I know either way I go, I'll end up in a place completely unrecognizable to where I am now.  (Having wanderlust makes following through with tasks already  in progress a little difficult.)

On a side note, I don't think I'm very mature.  There are times where I think I've matured far beyond where I ever was, but sometimes I feel like I have progressed laterally and not in a forward motion.  And sometimes, like today, I wonder if I really am as good as I think I am.  Like I know I'll never have an unbiased opinion of myself but am I really as likeable as I think I am, or as great as I already think I am.  But I digress.

Anyway, those are my random thoughts of the night.  Just finished rewriting a "journal entry" for my Humanities class on The Odyssey.  Good stuff.  We didn't read the entire 24 books but since I own it, I think I might start from the beginning with The Illiad.

Hope whoever reads this, you have a great night!


No comments: